I guess forgetting comes along with the territory. But at what point does forgetting actually become a problem?
My mom has been known to tell the same story twice. And when it first started happening, my go-to response was ‘You told me this already’, until i saw this quote.
That was the turning point. From then on, I tried to be really creative on how I would tell her that I had heard the story already….
“Oh yeah you might have mentioned that …” or “Oh yeah and then…” and I would try and finish the story, still not sure if that is considered rude… but that is how I deal with things, and for the most part I just let her tell me the story again. 🙂
Now that I have moved in, her forgetfulness is very apparent now… I’m sure she has known about it for a while. My Mom is a proud woman- strong and very independent. And to admit that her body is betraying her in some way, would mean she would need ‘help’. When she developed ‘Macular Degeneration’, she didn’t tell anyone and looking back at it now all the pictures that she took told a chilling story. (More on that in another post..)
After a while the ‘little clues’ turned into ‘big ones’. I knew I had to say something when she mentioned to me that she forgot to go to a meeting that she volunteers for, among other things. Volunteering was a way of life for my mom for many, many years. So missing even one day only meant one thing: she was ‘sick’ …
I knew I had to bring it up in a tactful way, so she would not get upset. I brought up how I was going to be doing an article on ‘forgetfulness’ for my website… then I snuck in that, “I’ve been noticing that you’ve been forgetting a few things. That’s when she told me that she doesn’t remember some of her past and she has to write things down a lot.
On a good day I myself can go to the grocery store and remember everything that I am supposed to buy. So, if you think your parent’s or loved one’s memory is slipping away, just a word of caution: make sure you have EVIDENCE, saying something prematurely to some people can get their backs up leading them to not even say anything to you. I knew my Mom was not remembering when she asked me to remind her of who `TIKO` was. (Tiko was my dog) 🙁
Being a former school teacher, she was as sharp as a tack and would always finish or help out with a word that anyone would struggle with. When I started to read her emails and mail, I noticed that she did not try and correct me, from the time I learned how to read I absolutely hated being corrected so I tried my best to avoid reading out loud at all costs. But now that she does not jump in to rescue me as I stumble through a word, my only wish is that she would throw a life preserver to me.
As I notice all the little clues she leaves behind, a sadness washes over me everytime she forgets something. As my young, wise daughter once said so eloquently to me when she did not want to go see her dying grandpa in the hospital anymore, “I have had all my MOMENTS with Grandpa”.
My Mom was losing her “MOMENTS”.
So that night after dinner we went for a walk, we came home and she asked if I wanted to play ‘Scrabble’. I replied back with a “Nahhhhh… how about ‘MEMORY?!” We both had a laugh, and played what seemed to be a very LONG game of Memory. Turns out my memory is not that great either 🙂 but to make sure she came back to play again, I let her win.
It is frightning when you realize that your parent, or even if your picking up clues that your own memory is slipping. There are proactive approches to slow down the effect of memory loss. With Scientifically proven foods and oils that you incorporate in to your daily food intake. Along with a healthy lifestyle