Your parent has taken a fall recently or you have noticed that some thing is not “just right” with your parent or loved one, the time has come to make different arrangements for them either hiring some help for them 2-3 times a week Or it’s time to REthink their living arrangements all together (they move in with you or vise-versa, OR they move into a home).
Where do you start?
First thing first , the conversation so you can get the ball rolling. It can go two ways…
a) with a lot of resistance because your parents is very independent. You’ll want to bring the subject up very casually. Start up a conversation about your “friends mom” who is moving in with her , and see how they respond to that first. If faced with a lot of resistance, pull back a little, let them cool off, then ease them into the idea.
If your plan is having someone coming in to take care of them, start with once a month and move gradually from there.
b) they were wondering when you were going to bring up
the topic!! It might be just what they needed to hear from you! , having you notice that they struggling with everyday chores, could be what they needed and was just waiting for you to ask.
If they are eventually going to be living with you. Ease them into it with a bunch of little conversations about different living situation, talk about what THEIR parents did when it came time. Or talk about a close friend , so that they can see EVERYONE goes through this …. talk about yourself and what you hope happens.
The more exposure to the subject, with mini conversations the LESS resistance you will encounter, when the day it actually happens. (and all the little conversations can happen weeks before or even months before depends on how organized you are).
Or you are wanting them to move in with you, start clearing out a living space for them ahead of time. Like that baseball movie, `build it and they will come` i know silly but it is actually being very organized!! and being one step ahead of the game.
So when the room is all ready, INVITE them over for a SLEEPOVER!! yes that’s right, a SLEEPOVER! … what better why to begin your role as a `caregiver` and they see how life would be like living at your house. It’s a win win situation!! You will be able to iron out the wrinkles before moving day arrives!
Change is difficult, especially when it involves uprooting everything – your home, your friends, and community.
when you use Compassion, Patience & Empathy
the conversation goes smoother for both parties.
But if you ease into it, it will become the building block to the a very solid foundation to a very important time for each of you.